I am not a runner. I have pretty much no desire to become a runner.
But, my good friend Jenny is training for a half-marathon. She’s an inspiration. I love learning from her via her writing and she progresses on this journey. She recently wrote about Finish Times and how she struggles with comparing herself to others. She poses a question to her readers about whether they do the same.
Combine Jenny’s post with some recent experiences like:
- One of the other preschool moms invited all the moms over to her house for coffee during school…
- One of my friends invited me to join a group of moms from our church at a zumba class that meets during the day…
- Reading numerous blog posts from other moms who talk about their day-to-day activities…
…And frankly, I can’t help but compare myself. But why? Is there a tone of comparison competition between stay-at-home/work-from-home moms (SHM) and we working moms? (Obviously making generalizations here but you understand.)
I make a deliberate choice every day when I choose to go to work. I choose to be the best woman/wife/mom I can be and I can do that by gaining energy and having interactions in my workplace and the community. Staying at home doesn’t use my strengths. In fact, I think it plays on my weaknesses.
So – why is that I feel even weaker when I let myself compare? Probably because I shouldn’t and it’s a great lesson as to why. It seems like at the coffee, zumba, etc. allows SHM to develop deeper, meaningful relationships with other women that much quicker. And while I desire that as well, I’m confident in my decisions.
I love my life. My husband and kids.
I love my job. My coworkers and our mission.
I treasure the rare night out with my girl friends.
I treasure their relationship more.
I’m grateful every day that I get to have the opportunity to excel – at work and at home.
Anyone else feel like this? How do SHM feel about the topic?
We all have different strengths, desires and drives. What would female relationships look like if we didn’t compare ourselves but instead treasure each strength we all have?
Actually – let me tell you what it looks like. It looks like phone conversations with colleagues that turns personal with laughter. It is a dear friend who invites me to zumba with her after work a few nights a week. It’s scheduling time in an already hectic schedule to spend time with the women who love unconditionally, without judgment, in support.
For those of you who support and shine the light on my strengths and weaknesses, thank you for not making this world a competition.